We did Christmas… in a big kind of way this year! (part one)

So remember (because I know you do…) all my bahumbug this and bahumbug that like 10 days ago, because I was like stuck in Milwaukee while the Mr. was all Christmas joying it up with his family in the Twin Cities. . . Well friends my joy arrived promptly at 10:30 Friday morning when I left my spacious office (read tiny cubicle of doom) and headed to the airport!When one thinks about getting to the airport on Friday, the 23rd of December one may be met with a Griswold-esc expectation of how this is going to go down. Long lines… angry flight attendants…security check points from down below… Check. Check. & Check.

I had a carry on roller bag, a bag of gifts and my purse, liquids all separated and everything ready to go through security when it dawned on me that I had NO IDEA what was in the gifts I was trying to bring on board.  Up until this  point I was in a total panic that my bags would be searched and eek the security people would see my stash of underwear (that I forgot to send with the Mr.), or somehow my bag would be ripped open and gasp underwear EVERYWHERE!  OMG. PANIC!  Back on track… panicking, I was loading my gifts, bags, liquids, shirts, boots, scarf, belt, (I am practically nude here) and I had the flash vision of what if the gift to Justin was some sort of hunting knife situation from my brother (the gift was from Jared to Justin and hunting accessories are not out of the norm) OMG! What if I am trying to bring some sort of huge animal gutting knife on board a Delta flight to Minneapolis! Serious sweating was taking place.  Reluctantly, I put everything through and stepped through the metal detector.

BEEEEP! I almost died right then. I was thinking, just take me now, I surrender! Then the man said, honey I think your necklace is causing the beep, please throw it in  your bag.  Oh right, my necklace, and my bags had not gone through the scanner yet.  Ok. Calm down crazy.

BEEEEEEPPPPPPPP! OMG! It’s the knife I know it, I am so sorry, (in my head) – sweating again, the man said, huh, is it your bracelet.  Right, (get it together lady!) so I go back, take off the bracelet (bangles mind you so this took a while in my panicked state) – – –

BEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost hit the floor.  And that is when I just knew it was the machete I was trying to pack on the plane. The following happened in slow motion (no, I am not exaggerating). . . The man said, Miss, it appears you have something sharp in your bag and we need to check it.  All the thoughts right now, underwear, machete, underwear!!!!! As I approached the table the man said do you have anything in here that you need to disclose? I was about to admit to everything in the bag, ummm crazy amounts of underwear, tights, boots, gloves, flat iron, hair dryer, curling iron, make-up etc… anything vain… yep, in my bag. Then thankfully, he said, Miss do you have tweezers in your bag?

OMGosh! Tweezers make this thing beep?! (yep, out loud)- he said sometimes. So I was able to open the outer pouch on my suitcase (nothing private in this pouch) and gave him my tweezers.  I didn’t even wait for him to run the test to see if I could keep them. I was like, they are yours, I’ll just take my unmentionables, and killing weapon of choice and get on the plane!

Then I ran. . . scratch that, walked calmly and unassumingly away. Only to have forgotten my belt. So I had to go back.  Story of my life.The flight was seriously the greatest thing ever. Crowded, late… etc… but it didn’t matter. And do you know why?! Because I was all kindle what can you offer me today, oh, a lovely Christmas love story, yes please! And we take off, and we fly for about 15 minutes and we descend and land pleasantly on the ground in Minneapolis.  This all took place in about an hour and half. It is about a 6 hour drive. I HEART flying!!!  The Mr. and I navigated our way through the grocery store for all of our Christmas Day meal groceries (2nd annual Coffman Christmas Dinner), while he told me about all the great things he had been doing and gave me an update on my pugs.  Then we checked out, and while Justin was busy bagging our groceries (so particular) … the checkout lady said she wished I would have let her know I was coming in from Milwaukee (nope, don’t know her.. never met her before) because I could have picked up her step-daughter (nope, don’t know her either) along the way. That would have saved them gas money. WHAT?! I was like, oh, well, sorry I didn’t know she needed a ride?! Really?!?! I  wasn’t really sure how to respond. So I helped pick up the bagging pace and out we went!When we finally made it to Justin’s grandparents, I was greeted by my pugs, and all the in-laws. Not to mention shortbread cookies and garlic baby crackers (I am sure that is the official name!) Not too shabby of a welcome.

 I sat around and visited with these characters. . .

and these lovely ladies. . .Then we headed over to Dean & Evie’s house for a Mexican Fiesta complete with Chili’s (my fave) chips & salsa and margaritas 🙂 virgin, but with the stories that were being told I am pretty sure there was some truth serum cough, cough, tequila  mixed in! JOKES!!And the medals for the best stories of the night. . .

 Apparently, when my husband was a wee little lad, his dad would put a piece of sandpaper in between his cheeks (yep, the ones you are thinking) and watch him run around?! WHAT!  The best part of this story is that his uncles were talking about how they would plan to go visit based on if this event would take place! Awe, my poor husband’s buns 🙂 TOO funny. Although, sorry hubby, that will not be on your list to do when for our future little lad. A side note story to this one, is that while we were laughing, Justin said I am so scarred from this experience (totally sarcastic & he meant emotionally scarred) his grandmother offered up a hand mirror so that we (not going to happen)could check for scars! I thought I was going to die from laughter!

Justin’s uncle rigged a pulley system so that his baby boy could reach a string and lower his bottle down to his mouth when in his little seat.  This was not for a pure invention purpose… nope, he was trying to get a high score in a video game.

&  finally, the summer we got married, my brother in-laws were snorkeling at Hanauma Bay- a little bit of background on this bay. It is shallow, the tide is intense and it is relatively easy for the following to happen… Well, Kyle and Ryan were swimming along when all the sudden the tide went out and Kyle was beached on a chunk of coral. (funny right) the best part of the story is that (Kyle told the story, so I am safe to say we all laughed together) … anyways, the best part is that Ryan, without missing a beat swam by Kyle while talking whale speak.  OMGOSH. We laughed so hard. I can’t believe in the almost five years since that trip that we had never heard this story.Whale Speak (watch this if you don’t understand whale speak!!)

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the men in my family 🙂

Christmas Eve festivities are up next!

Today I am overwhelmingly grateful for the past three days that were spent on our couch, just the Mr. & I watching Mad Men with the pugs.  We were bums, but we needed the time and relaxation before real life started again!


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