At the very least we need a Barney Fife!

So when I started this blog… Sunday… I never figured it would turn into a Crime Beat with me being the lead investigator.  But it turns out I live in a Mayberry without a Sheriff Griffith and I must step up to the badge.

Let me set the scene.  One year and one three weeks ago Mom and I were in Louisiana and we found LSU garden gnomes. omgtheyaresocute! I named mine Norman instantly and Mom named hers Louie.  Well, Norman lived a grand life, he had full control over our front stoop all fall and into winter until it was too chilly then he moved under our Christmas tree, then to the mantle until Spring.  We loved Norman.  Louie unfortunately suffered a serious fall when Brass the mighty Golden Retriever bumped him and he tumbled down a flight of steps.

A moment of silence for poor Louie.

Back to Norman, Norman became a staple at our house, the pugs sneeze greeted him daily, I moved him around for even sun tanning and to change up his scenery. He had a good thing going amiright?!

That was until about a month ago we were having a game night with friends when mysteriously we were ding-dong-ditched.  General Swamp Fox aka Justin (another story for another time) sprang into action and bolted outside.  No kids to be seen.  The next morning when we got home from Church I noticed Norman was not on his stoop?! WHERE IS NORMAN??

I may have been hysterical, we were really attached.

Justin said, I bet those kids took him!!!

This could not be true.  We live in Wisconsin’s equivalent of MAYBERRY!!!!  We have a playground across the street, stroller moms making ruts in our sidewalk, a frozen yogurt shop and STARBUCKS three blocks from us.  WHAT is this world coming to when a sweet Norman gnome cannot live safely on his stoop.

After interrogating the General’s friends it was determined that Norman had beenGnome-napped! TRAGIC.  I grieved and slowly moved on (well not really, I still talk about him.) SAD.

Low and behold a couple of days later we received a package from my MIL who sent us a NEW GNOME!!! She was not messing around either, meet Bernie.

Bernie is not the friendly welcome to LSU gnome that Norman was, not Bernie, no sir.  Bernie was the defensive line of the LSU Tigers all wrapped up with the feisty personality of the Honey Badger. (look this up on YouTube if you want to know more about his personality)

Yes! Bernie was fierce.  So I promptly had a quick moment for Norman and placed Bernie on our steps.  I know what you are thinking, won’t he be stolen!?!?! No way!


Well friends, last night between the hours of 5:30 and 7:30pm Bernie was gnome-napped.  We are again GNOMELESS!

I am sad. I am angry. I am posting this around our neighborhood.

No, I am not joking. Yes, Justin laughed.  But I will fight for my little gnome people.

Today I am grateful for my husband who humors me as I search for our gnomes!!


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